Kindness is our Super Power

The opposite of kindness is not unkindness or meanness as you might expect.

It is abandonment.

In a leadership context we find it evident that there are people you favour because for one reason or another you resonate with that person and you just like them. At the simplest level, the action of 'LIKE' is to invest your time, your thinking, your generosity of wisdom, advice, assistance, favour, opportunity etc. into that person's day. (This is the recognition of value)

The polar opposite of that investment is evident in the people you don't resonate with. This starvation of those values (the intentional lack of the milk of human kindness.) is a deprivation of connection, the thirst for encouragement, which our teams of course desperately need.

And make no mistake, there is a stark awareness of that intention to everyone on your team, after all, behaviour follows belief.

"Kindness is a choice even when fondness is not" (Samuel Johnson 1709-1784)

This quote for me summarises how we must model leadership evenly.

I'm not saying you don't have favourites as you are human, and we are all subject to attraction and choice. It is highly unlikely you will feel drawn to all your team, but you can regardless of attraction practice and demonstrate kindness. Generosity only shown to the favoured is not really generosity at all.

If a team member becomes abandoned, their performance and contribution becomes stunted which is the last thing you want or need. Everyone's  voice creates the conditions for better even though they may be square pegs.

If you struggle to like or resonate with a particular person or group of people, I have some questions which help to open up a conversational channel which will change your view point or at the very least provide you the opening for kindness and connection.

Oscar Wilde wrote: "People are like books, some deceive you with their cover, and others surprise you with their content." But if we don't ever pick up the book, how will never known what is inside it.

Email me at lead@thethinkfarm.org (Subject: Five Questions)

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Love stops at 9.00am 



This is a very strange concept I must admit, but it has been troubling me for some time now.



For the better part of 15 hours between when we leave work and reengage the next day, we experience for the most part a loving kind supportive environment within our family unit. And yes I know that differs for some and they do not experience what they should in terms of care and loving kindness. However, the latter only makes my point more vivid.



Which is; that it is an experiential oddity to go from the comfort of ones home to an environment where for so many unkindness, tension, toxicity, disregard and a lack of basic humanity exist. 



We know people leave leaders not organisations. We must therefore examine both our attitudes and belief systems about what work should feel like if we want to grow revenue and outcomes. 



I speak from a leadership stance when it comes to the whole idea of creating environments where people can thrive and do their best work. Where motivation is by affirmation (MBA - The 5 Languages Of Appreciation In The Workplace, September 2012  by  Gary D Chapman). Do your teams flourish under your leadership? What do you believe about how we should treat people?



This is going to sound very harsh but what might our partners say if they saw how we lead and who we become in our roles of authority and power. 



It is apparent that in a positive way teams need to know a few things about us to function at high levels. One is Consistency or you could say Predictability. Is my behaviour consistent and implicitly kind? Teams who experience leaders who are erratic in their character and style of leadership do not produce the consistency of outcomes expected. People need the stability of certainty of environments to function at their best. Ambiguity of behavioural expectation is a significant constraint to productivity. When unexpected adverse conditions appear, (as they will) the consistency of (good) leadership behaviour (trust) holds them in place. 



Love is always a loaded word and unfamiliar when spoken in relation to a work context. But never-the-less, if to be loved for who you are and appreciated for the contribution you make is a precursor to performance we must ensure that a leadership personality mutation does not occur when we walk through the office door in the morning.



My foot note would be this: If people find themselves in undesirable home environments and then experience your kindness at work... you become a life saver by how you lead. However, if they go home in a mentally dishevelled state from work and their home provides no solace...you will wear that state of mind consistently in their role and performance. 



Here is an opportunity to make people feel like they have belonging. And there is no doubt at all that when people find their place, they find their peace. And peace allows for engagement, retention, innovation and a profitability of outcomes. And that underpins your leadership.


For so long we have been stacking legislation upon legislation in a vain attempt to alter negative outcomes and change peoples behaviour.