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For so long we have been stacking legislation upon legislation in a vain attempt to alter negative outcomes and change peoples behaviour.

This has spectacularly failed and we see a rise in poor well being, low engagement, unkind leadership, mediocre productivity and a rise in pyscho-social harm.

The most impactful actions you can take to shift these stats is to become lovers of people and understand what people need to perform at their best and what prevents that..and that will only ever come though deepening relationships and the intentional curiosity and recognition of what individual team members need to thrive and excel. The big shift in leadership for his season is a deeper handle on human psychology.

Latent skills and high functioning contributions lay hidden under the ridiculousness of regulation and legislation. Regulations do not change belief systems. We apply punitive measures to chastise error and failure when what we need to do is to be moving in closer and closer to understand the why events happen and foster the encouragement of solution discovery as a standard practice. Anytime you have punitive action, you bury your opportunity to uncover truth and the pathway to better. We are suffering from the gap between relationship and knowing deep functional data.

People talk much about "Courageous Conversations" (which I personally believe are nonsense - feel free to ask me why) however, what is really courageous is for a leader to first determine that people don't come to work to wreck organisations, and secondly, that real courage is to be able to look at ones own leadership and discover where systems and processes have facilitated error and systematic failures. Remember, YOU have what you lead and YOU have what you tolerate. We are where we have been led.

A courageous conversation had with yourself makes discovery possible and change towards excellence imminent.


The opposite of kindness is not unkindness or meanness as you might expect.

It is abandonment.

In a leadership context we find it evident that there are people you favour because for one reason or another you resonate with that person and you just like them. At the simplest level, the action of 'LIKE' is to invest your time, your thinking, your generosity of wisdom, advice, assistance, favour, opportunity etc. into that person's day. (This is the recognition of value)

The polar opposite of that investment is evident in the people you don't resonate with. This starvation of those values (the intentional lack of the milk of human kindness.) is a deprivation of connection, the thirst for encouragement, which our teams of course desperately need.

And make no mistake, there is a stark awareness of that intention to everyone on your team, after all, behaviour follows belief.

"Kindness is a choice even when fondness is not" (Samuel Johnson 1709-1784)

This quote for me summarises how we must model leadership evenly.

I'm not saying you don't have favourites as you are human, and we are all subject to attraction and choice. It is highly unlikely you will feel drawn to all your team, but you can regardless of attraction practice and demonstrate kindness. Generosity only shown to the favoured is not really generosity at all.

If a team member becomes abandoned, their performance and contribution becomes stunted which is the last thing you want or need. Everyone's  voice creates the conditions for better even though they may be square pegs.

If you struggle to like or resonate with a particular person or group of people, I have some questions which help to open up a conversational channel which will change your view point or at the very least provide you the opening for kindness and connection.

Oscar Wilde wrote: "People are like books, some deceive you with their cover, and others surprise you with their content." But if we don't ever pick up the book, how will never known what is inside it.

Email me at lead@thethinkfarm.org (Subject: Five Questions)


We often think we have to change the face of the world to gain some difference, gain some advantage for someone or something. This consumes huge energy, time and often people lives in order to see any appreciable change.


I’m totally biased about some research that declares that the most successful leaders in any category spend intentional time in the dreaming, reflection and creativity space.


Balance. It’s a horrid word to many leaders. We are tempted to drive ourselves to the limits of the well being scale in order to demonstrate dedication, justify our existence and deliver the bottom line results. But let’s face it, dead is dead.